Some musings, pretty lengthy read

Hello folks, here it is nearing the end of another day. Thank you for your kind comments, and encouraging words. I do have to clarify something though. The young pastor who took me to Lowe's,  'helped' to pay for the washing machine, paying almost half, I paid the rest. His gift was so unexpected, so appreciated and I am ever thankful for it. I am thankful for the way this church has a heart for widows. It shows!

 Also, I forgot to finish the story in my last post about what happened with Miss Rinkie. In all of the commotion of taking out old washer and putting in the new one and the emotions I had been going through, I was wiped out. I decided to look for Miss Rinkie, the last barn kitty, the next day, as I didn't want to have to deal with what I knew was true.. And as I suspected, I found her the next morning and she was 'gone'. So, I got a shovel and dug her little grave, next to the grave of a little feral kitty I had buried a week or so before.

In this life we have good and bad, we learn and grow hopefully. There are catastrophes, death, loss of finances, loss of homes or businesses, loss of relationships with family and friends, divorce, abuse, the list goes on. What I've gone through in my life seems small in comparison to what others have gone through in their lives. We don't really get over things, we go through them, and hopefully we learn, grow and come out stronger.

In the Bible we are told in Deuteronomy 31:6 

"Be strong and of good courage,
do not fear nor be afraid of them; 
for the Lord your God, 
He is the One who goes with you. 
He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

Joshua 1:9

 Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and of good courage; 
do not be afraid, 
nor be dismayed, 
for the Lord your God is with you 
wherever you go.” 

As believers in Jesus, we have not been promised an easy life, in fact we are told that we will have afflictions, go through hard times. But, Jesus is always with us, He is our strength when we are weak. 

Being a widow isn't easy. We lose part of ourselves. We no longer have the physical help, the communication, the fun, the love, someone to share our life loads with. It can be overwhelming at times. As a widow who believes in Jesus, I am to trust Him in and with everything. He is now my husband.

Isaiah 54:5 says:

 For your Maker is your husband,
the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.

On December 10, 2012, the day after God called Mark home, I was online googling Godly help for widows and came across a wonderful piece by  Octavius Winslow (1808-1878). It was exactly what I needed. You can read the whole article here at:

'The Godly Widow Confiding in the Widow's God'.

In Jeremiah 49:11 it says:

  let your widows trust in Me

~~~~~~

It is well!
All that he does, who speaks these touching words, is well.
It is well with you,
for he who gave in love,
in love has taken away the mercy that he gave.
The companion of your youth, the friend of your bosom,
the treasure of your heart, the staff of your riper
and the solace of your declining years,
is removed,
but since God has done it—it is, it must be well.
Look now above the circumstances of your deep and dark sorrow, the second causes of your bereavement,
the probable consequences of your loss,
God has done it;
and that very God who has smitten, who has bereaved,
and who has removed your all of earthly good,
now invites you to trust in him.
Chance has not brought you into this state;
accident has not bereft you of your treasure;
God has made you a widow,
that you may confide in the widow’s God.

And who is the object of the widow’s trust?
“In me,” says God. None less than himself can meet your case.
He well considers that there is an acuteness in your sorrow,
 a depth in your loss,
a loneliness and a helplessness in your position,
which no one can meet but himself.
The first, the best, the fondest,
the most protective of creatures has been torn from your heart, is smitten down at your side;
what other creature could now be a substitute?
A universe of beings could not fill the void:
God in Christ only can.
O! wonderful thought,
that the Divine Being should come and embosom himself
in the bereft and bleeding heart of a human sufferer
that bereft and bleeding heart of yours.
He is especially the God of the widow.
And when he asks your confidence, and invites your trust,
and bids you lift your weeping eye from the crumbled idol at your feet,
and fix it upon himself,
he offers you an infinite substitute for a finite loss;
thus,
as he ever does,
giving you infinitely more than he took;
bestowing a richer and a greater blessing than he removed.
He recalled your husband, but he bestows himself.
And O, the magnitude of this trust!
It is to have infinite power to protect you,
infinite wisdom to guide you,
infinite love to comfort you,
infinite faithfulness at all times to stand by you,
and boundless resources to supply your every need.
It is to have the God who made heaven and earth,
the God to whom the spirits of all creatures are subject,
the God who gave his dear Son to die for you,
the God of the everlasting covenant to be your shield,
your counselor,
your provider,
your God forever and ever,
and your guide even unto death."

 

On looking back, I think I was stronger in the beginning, I needed to be, to be trusting in Jesus to get me through each day. He gives us what we need of Himself to make it through difficult times. Our loss doesn't subside as time goes on, it is always with us, but so is Jesus, always ready to comfort us. He has comforted me over and over again these past 10 years and 3 months. I will be reunited with Mark again one day.

Covid and the forced isolation, was hard to deal with not just for me but for everyone around the world. Fear was all around. There was NO being with other humans. We were locked inside our own little worlds.

I watched online services, messages, times of worship, etc. I wondered, what I was here for?  What was my purpose. Then I found this church, and in it I found a wonderful group of ladies who love Jesus, love others, who pray for and help others. I began hearing of people who needed a bit of love, comfort and encouragement and my fingers have been crocheting lap/comfort blankets more than ever. My love of crocheting began at the age of 15, I was taught by my step-grannie. Love and prayers go into the making of these blankets, I have been given a purpose.

We all have been blessed with talents and God can use them to bless others. We may feel like what we have to offer isn't much, but God can take small things to us and make them great. A word of encouragement, whether it be a text, email or snail mail or in person. A gift of food, homemade or otherwise can bless someone. Can we be of physical help? Can we help in our churches, in our communities? There are many ways God can bless others through us. Through blessing others, we are blessed.

I will close this with the following verses.

Lamentations 3:24-26

 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.

~~~~~~

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God

~~~~~~

Mark called out this verse below, 1 Peter 5:7, to me as I walked in the door just home from work on the 17th Nov. 2012, God called him home on the 9th of December 2012. I'm still casting all my cares on Jesus.
 

Love and prayers,

FlowerLady