Tuesday, January 14, 2014

What a meltdown of a day


First, let me go heat up some water for a cup of ginger tea, I’ll be right back. Ok, water is heating, and I’m munching on a couple of chocolate chip cookies.

Here’s something that has been weighing on my mind lately:

I am having a problem with fleas in the barn where three of my feline girls have lived for years.  It keeps them off the street and away from feral cats.  They like it in there and have their routes for climbing and leaping.  We visit them and DH would do some work in there too. For years I have fed the girls Brewer’s yeast and that has kept the fleas at bay.  DH left this planet Dec. 2012, and the fleas started moving in sometime last year.

I’ve had some fleas in the house too, but am getting a handle on it, as it is a smaller space.

I am using diatomaceous earth and vacuuming. I don’t want to use chemicals as I’ve read some bad stuff about them, bombs etc. leaving poison every where, although, I did break down and buy advantageII and gave it to the barn girls once and to Miss Tork twice.  Both times I’ve noticed she’s really lethargic for days after the dose has been given, basically staying in one spot.  This morning she threw up after eating some breakfast. I am too the point where I am thinking of giving them all away. But who do you give them too. Shelters are filled to capacity with critters. I am beside myself with worry about this on top of still grieving, because I miss Mark every single day. I don’t know what to do, and I am all by myself. I love my girls and need help.

I decided to do some laundry this morning as it was piling up, and as I was hanging up clothes the tears started to fall in earnest, then I pulled on the clothesline pipe to turn it around and it broke in three places, it’s one of those twirly gig deals. That really did it and I began sobbing. I got the clothes back off the lines, came inside still sobbing and called a widow friend and she prayed with me right on the phone, and I felt a little better.  I then decided ok, I’ll just go to HD and buy a new ‘solar dryer’.  I checked and we bought this one a little over 4 years ago and it is only cheap aluminum after all. So, I changed my clothes and headed out the door.  When I was walking to the van, I noticed it listing to one side and OH NO,  a FLAT tire, front drivers side. I laughed right out loud at first, and said well that takes care of that. Then I came back in and the tears started again.  I called my boss and asked to talk to the restorer if he was there, because he lives near me and maybe he could come help.  I talked to the restorer and he said not to worry they would figure something out.    My boss called a little while later and told me a mobile auto repair truck would be out in about an hour and the bill was taken care of.  I thanked him with tears streaming down my face.

The guys did show up did a good, quick job and left.  I will go to SAM’s club tomorrow morning with warranty in hand to see about getting a new tire.  Sheesh!

My stomach is upset to say the least, pressure behind my eyes from so much crying, and then I hear the mail truck, and what do I see in the box, the ‘water bill’.  I was thinking ok,  what am I going to have a $3000. water bill.  No, it wasn’t that high, but it was high again, so there is still a leak somewhere. I need to see about disconnecting that reverse osmosis system and see if that’s the problem.  I called my B-I-L and left a message.  I know he’s going to be ‘thrilled’ to hear from me again.  Bless his heart. He and his wife are flying to NYC for a belated anniversary trip for a few days, leaving Thurs.

I didn’t cry over the bill, I probably would have though if it was $3000.

During this mini crisis,  I came across the verse ~ Give thanks in all things ~ oh my. It isn’t easy, but it is doable.  Being thankful does somehow make you feel better and lighten things up a bit. This is just another testing of my faith, to make me a stronger FlowerLady.

So, I would appreciate your prayers about all of this. Sometimes I get zapped with feelings of ‘what’s the use’ of doing anything. This grieving is really rough on body, mind and spirit.  But, with God, I can and will make it.


Now let’s have some flower ‘candy’.

Azaleas ~ three different colors, all pretty.




Cactus blooms.



Hibiscus with plumbago in the background, with morning sunlight.






Thunbergia erecta




Callisia fragrans just starting to bloom along the driveway.

They have such a delicate sweet scent.


A bloom of the Cocktail rose, past it’s prime.


This is my gift of Rose de Rescht, putting out lots of new growth.


I took those lace curtains I bought for $3 the other day and hung them in the three doors.  I love the light they let in, and how much bigger the spaces feel using them.

I really like them in my little space where I create and blog from.


Well, today is on the wane and tomorrow is another day. 

That reminds me of a couple of things in my online devotionals I got this morning in my email.


God is in every tomorrow,
Therefore I live for today,
Certain of finding at sunrise,
Guidance and strength for the way;
Power for each moment of weakness,
Hope for each moment of pain,
Comfort for every sorrow,
Sunshine and joy after rain.

Here’s another piece from one of them.

Our emotions are governed in large measure by what we consider — what we dwell on with our minds. For example, Jesus told us to overcome the emotion of anxiety by what we consider: “Consider the ravens . . . Consider the lilies” (Luke 12:24, 27).

The mind is the window of the heart.
If we let our minds constantly dwell on the dark,
the heart will feel dark.
But if we open the window of our mind to the light,
the heart will feel the light.


So I will close with the following:

whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things
are of good report;
if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise,
think on these things.

Love and hugs,



Val said...

When it rains, it pours! You're in my prayers. "Better days will come," as my dad says. ♥

Morning's Minion said...

It does seem that when we are struggling to stay on top of real griefs, smaller vexations come at us--the sort of things that might cause a rueful laugh in better times, but threaten to overwhelm when we are already weary.
I am sorry that is happening--and you do have my prayers.
Re the reaction to the Advantage: my cats have experienced that to varying degrees for several days following the dose. It worries me and I tend to lengthen the gap between applications beyond the recommended time. I know the fleas are harmful to the cats as well as carrying disease--its a real catch 22.

Bernie H said...

Those days when it seems everything just goes wrong are hard to bear, aren't they? A bit of sobbing and crying is needed, and often times very helpful. I find comfort in the verse "Come to me, all who are weary ..."

You are in my thoughts and in my prayers. It's lovely to hear that your boss and your widow friend were able to help so much. Fingers crossed that you can sort out the flea problem, without giving away your cat companions.

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

Days like that are so hard to deal with. I have found that when I feel really down,if I can give thanks for something,just anything,it helps me to feel better and before I know it I can see the sunshine again. Sometimes it just takes me a long time to start giving thanks.You know what I mean.Hugs to you.Hope tomorrow is a brighter day.

It's Just Dottie said...

Oh Sweetie, I am praying so hard for you.
Hugs, Dottie

Marti said...

Bless your heart. I'm praying for you right now. It does seem that bad luck comes in waves, which I guess means that good luck does too, but we tend to take that in stride better.

If you aren't sure if the leak is the water system, can you turn off the water to it and check your meter? There is a leak indicator on your water meter. If it is spinning now but stops when you cut off the water to the osmosis, that's it. But if it continues, it's somewhere else.

Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

(Hug) So much at once. Hang in there. You just fixed the last leak you found, your water bill is probably before that fix. You may not still have a problem. Here's to a smoother day tomorrow!

Betsy Adams said...

Bless your heart... I have tears in my eyes---for you and your situation. I'm so very very sorry. I may be wrong but I still say that there are churches out there with volunteers who help people in need. You are definitely in need--and you should admit it and get some help. I know that you are trying to be so strong --but you are only human.. Ask for help in your community..

The good news though is that you are willing to open up and write about this to US. That is a good thing. Crying and sharing HELPS --and will give you the strength to go on. Yes--tomorrow is another day. God Bless you, Sweet Lorraine.


M.K. said...

Oh, friend, I'm sorry you had a painful day. Isn't it true that some days the dominos fall one after another, until we cry and want to give up? Just look at those fabulous flowers and blooms! The sun shines and the flowers shout glory, even when our hearts are breaking. Perhaps they're given to us so that we do not lose hope. May you feel God's loving arms around you as you grieve.

Nancy J said...

Lorraine, I missed this earlier, had my head buried in the office, the FIRST of the "have to do" things this year. Oh dear, hope some of the suggestions might help the water crisis. Caring thoughts coming your way. XXX Jean.

sweetbay said...

It is so hard taking care of stuff by yourself. I am sorry you are struggling and hope you feel better soon.

Fleas are tough. I use Revolution and that seems to be the best thing out there now.

Terra said...

Oh sweetie, what a bunch of breakings have besieged you, one right after another. I can see how you would cry and cry, and even laugh. I would too. That is a normal reaction on top of you missing your dear hubby. How good your boss sent the truck. I love that last Scripture about whatsoever things are good and pure, think on those things. Take care.

Ferree Bowman Hardy said...

Dear FlowerLady, Meltdown, grief attack... they just mean you're normal. Roll with the punches, but as you've done---roll towards the truth of God's Word. The poem about the mind being the window of the heart has great wisdom. I hope the "light" you let in yesterday will help hope blossom more today. One step at a time. As for the cats, my vet warns me against over the counter flea stuff as it sometimes causes seizures and other problems. You might be able to purchase a flea treatment at a local vet without having to take them in for an exam. It's a liquid you put at the base of their neck between their shoulders and it doesn't cost much more than A. Otherwise, you might have to bomb, but that involves a lot of other work too like making sure everything is off the floor. Although it has to be poisonous to kill the fleas, I've used it in the past, even with kids in the house, and we were all fine. Hugs and prayers that today will be a bit lighter.

Mrs. Mac said...

Sending you a great big {{{{HUG}}}} I pray that by now some of these trials have been worked on. God's word gives us assurances .. but at the moment when we are going through a trial, sometimes we just need a good cry. May God send the help you need.

Linda Fox said...

So sorry. It seems to go like that things upon things. Being a single woman isn't easy when it come to those kinds of things. I'm praying. I always go back to the one step at a time, I may feel overwhelmed, but what is one step I can take.

Barbee' said...

What wonderful comments to your post. I ditto them all. The only "new" thing I have to offer is not really helpful, but a sharing of an experience with my beloved cat. God has often spoken to me through random bits I have read. I put a flea collar on Kitty Kat, and shortly I read in Ladies' Home Journal the monthly article written by a veterinarian. In it he wrote that for some cats flea collars caused weakness in their hind quarters. And, would you believe it, sure enough she soon was falling over in her hind quarters when she tried to walk. I snatched that thing off of her. I don't even know if they still sell them. I told our veterinarian about it and he said he had never heard that. Both he and the cat are dead and gone now, but I have never forgotten.

Rose ~ from Oz said...

My dear Lorraine, I am having terrible internet problems at present (well more than usual) and have just caught up with all of your recent posts. My, does my heart just feel so much for you during mini crisis'. It really can bejust overwhelming and for some reason it brings the grief forth in torrents to boot. All my love dear girl,things will get better but that doens't help much whilst theyre happening.
Hugs a plenty