Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Yesterday was a bit of a ‘foggy’ day


Good morning Friends ~ Yesterday I set out to do errands as we always did, and ended up walking around in a fog. Shopping without my best friend made it really ‘boring’, and I felt lost, and like half of me is missing, which it is. I just wanted to be done with shopping and get back here to our little haven.  Plus, everywhere I went I noticed ‘older couples’ even more than I  normally do. We used to say, that will be us in a few years. Sigh! I ended up being pretty depressed, something that hadn’t really happened yet, so I think it all is just catching up to me. Oh yea, it was also very gray out and we had some gentle rain too, which didn’t help my depression any. We did need the rain though.

I did get what I needed, stopped at HD to see what I might find to add to the ‘Sanctuary’ garden, and two wonderful additions jumped right onto the flat bed cart, along with a bag of dirt.  A blue sky clock vine loaded with flowers and buds,  and a gardenia also loaded with buds and three were opening. Today I hope to get outside again to putter in the garden.


After lunch, I took a little nap, woke up still depressed, decided to wash dishes and put groceries away, that helped. Then the mail came and there was a sweet letter from Mark’s dear Aunt Ruthie. She has been a widow for about 5 years now and still isn’t over the loss of Uncle Wilbur. They had been married for 60 years. Also in the mail was a sweet card and a monetary love gift from a lovely online gardening friend. There were kind emails and comments too in my computer, and I felt blessed and thankful.

Sunday I worked outdoors and that felt so good to me. First off, I had to fix my clippers as the little spring, broke some more and finally fell out. I had remembered seeing a container of springs in Mark’s workshop, and went in there to see if I could find it again, and there it was. Hurray. Now to see if there was a spring that would fit. Another hurray, I found one, and now my clippers are good to go for awhile longer.


I was doing some clean up and was going to throw this piece of wood out, when I said, Hey wait a minute, that will work for a new cover for our trash can. The other one was about shot, so even though this is a tad smaller, it works to keep night critters out. I found a handle in the handle box in the workshop, got a couple of screws, screwed the handle on and TA DA. I could hear dear Mark saying ‘Atta Girl’ for both projects. Smile


Then I was going to throw out a pr. of Mark’s old ratty jeans, but saw that the backs of the legs were in good shape. So, I decided to make a piece that will be appliqued to our quilt top that I am working on. I used some of the gold thread recently gifted to me to outline a heart shape, and that’s the start. I plan to save all parts of the jeans that are in good shape as they will be great for other embroidery projects. You can see part of the quilt upper right next to the hoop edge.


I also started on a little embroidery project for a ‘grand-niece’ She was just born on the 30th of December.

For supper last night I fixed my all time ‘comfort’ food, tacos. My day ended better than it had started and I was thankful. I also had a good night’s sleep and and thankful for that too.

I am taking herbs that are good for calming and building up my immune system, plus using essential oils for grief. I am eating, and drinking lots of water, plus a glass of prune juice with pulp to keep me going.

I look forward to puttering around here today, inside and out. The bread machine will be cranking out a loaf of ‘coconut milk’ bread, which is simple and delicious, while I putter.

Thanks again for all of your love, prayers and support.

FlowerLady Lorraine


Here are some wise words from Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes, KJV of the Bible.


There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear (have reverential trust) before him.


Sunray Gardens said...

Staying busy is always a big help. I envy you being able to work in the gardens.
Cher Sunray Gardens

Rebecca said...

It is good to be honest about the "fog" when it comes. I think it would be a little unnatural if you never experienced the feelings you acknowledge here.

I am amazed at your resourcefulness and confident that Mark would be VERY proud of you!

(Can't help but thinking about prune juice - how it "keeps you going" - and that there must be an emotional "prune juice" to keep you going, too.....some things just need to be processed. And it's not a once-and-for-all thing. You don't do it once and then never again....)

Maybe the garden is your "prune juice"?

I know. Sometimes I get too philosophical :)

Annie said...

You were lucky you had such a good friend to be close to for so long. I am surrounded by people and feel so lonely. Sewing and gardening are my solace.

Christys Cottage Wildlife Garden said...

Good morning Flowerlady! I'm so glad you are feeling better today and I bet getting out in the garden will make you feel even better. You are so talented; sewing, gardening and fixing things around the house. Not to mention seeing the possibilities of used items and repurposing them! I am sending you good thoughts!

Antique ART Garden said...

That ' fog' was what I was telling you about. Mine started at the beginning and lasted almost 3-4 months, maybe a little longer. I could barely drive and could not communicate very well. Glad ot hear you are taking soem calming herbs, keep busy with little things. So nice to see his jeans mixed in with quilt, great idea!love ya! Gina

denimflyz said...

I am sending prayers to you to help you to bear the depression and down times a little easier. Its hard.
Funny thing is: I'm usually in a "fog" daily anyway! :^}
Please take care and I will talk to you later.

Karen said...

I'm glad you are able to get out in the garden. Great job on the garden pruners and the lid. I just know Mark is cheering you on. The jean quilt will be beautiful.

lemonverbenalady said...

Love your banner photo, FL! Sending positive energy your way for every day! Keep busy! Move forward. DH would want that! xxoo LVL and The Herbal Husband

Nancy J said...

Lorraine, your faith, friends and inner strength, each will be with you every day. A dear friend told me the first year is hardest, and after that it will be easier.Now she manages so well by herself, they were soulmates since late teenage days to his late 80's.DH will always be with you, encouraging, full of praise for your new achievements, garden plants, and your courage each day. Fond greetings from Jean.

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

I can so relate to the feeling of lostness in a store. I used to love going shopping with Jake but for quite a while it was a chore. I am now back to where i can say I enjoy it again,even all alone.

Linda said...

You continue to inspire me. You are the queen on reusing stuff. All these first you are having are hard. I pray God will continue to heal that hole. You have some wonderful friends. You are blessed. Hugs.

Friko said...

I am so sorry to hear of your dear husband’s death but glad to see that your faith is helping you to cope.

There will be many more sad days but if you keep believing that you will meet again in a better life then the pain will lessen.

My very best wishes to you, FlowerLady and keep your hands in the earth and your feet on the ground.

Skeeter said...

Sorry you had a foggy day but as the fog rolls in, it shall also roll out. I am glad you were able to get out into the garden for a bit of puttering. We are experiencing some gloomy days around here but expecting some spring like temps this weekend. I plan to get out and play in the garden for a lift in my spirits as well....

Diana Studer said...

just catching up with you, after I noticed your comment on Holley's post. My thought are with you, it is hard for me to imagine you, without your best friend.

Sandra said...

Grief is such a long process, and I'm sure you'll have your bad days and your ok days. Just know that we're all here for you, in whichever way we can help.

Great job on the trash can cover and the denim block for the quilt :)


Balisha said...

You are doing so well. Your garden is your refuge and also working on your many projects. There are many stages in the grief process. This is just one of them.Getting out in the garden , as you have found, is somewhere that you can do some hard work and see beautiful results.
Hugs, Balisha

Rose ~ from Oz said...

(I may be asking your advice on the handywoman stuff and gardening before too long,,,)

HolleyGarden said...

I am so shocked and saddened by your news. Everyone has a different journey in their grief, but I hope you can find peace and joy in small things as you go through yours. I absolutely love that you are using pieces of his jeans in different projects. Those will be so special. My prayers are with you.

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams said...

May the fog disappear and be replaced by warm memories of your love. Good for you to be so resourceful and independent in managing to do those chores that you used to have help with.

I love that you can garden, what beautiful weather you must have to grow plants in the winter...[we have over a foot of snow, so I have gardeners envy of your warmth].

Take good care of yourself.


Lynn said...

Plum Cottage is humming along. Good food, good projects inside and out. Garden clippers are my favorite tool. I keep a pair in the kitchen for when I want to dash out and bring something in for the windowsill over the skink. I keep a pair in the glove box of the car for random raids on roadside blooms. The third pair is with my other hand tools. I like Mark’s containers for smalls in the workshop. Well done.

Becky said...

Hugs to you! Your new plants are lovely! Time spent in your garden will heal the soul as well.

sweetbay said...

Some "fog" is inevitable, but it sounds like you are coping really well. Also, no matter the circumstances, an overcast day in winter can really dampen one's mood.

A gardenia, yum! What a nice addition to the garden!


Atta girl! I love that you were able to find just the right spring for your clippers. You are very handy but then you learned from the best, right? :)

I'm glad you're doing well and that so many lovely people are reaching out to you. I'm sure some days will be better than others but God is with you every day. Hugs!

Anonymous said...

There are stages to grief. You have gone to the next stage. Hopefully it will pass quickly.

Hubs wants you to know that, sometimes when a screw is put into wood, it will split. It helps to prevent splitting if you use a drill to put in a small "pilot hole" before you put the screw in.

I use pieces of bluejeans for all kinds of things. Made a small "hugs and kisses" lapquilt once that turned out really nice. And I really like hotpads made out of them for the kitchen.

Keep on keepin' on, you're doing great. XOXOXO Ilene

gld said...

That quote from Ecclesiastes is a favorite of mine.

I think you are doing great. I would be very surprised if you didn't have bad days and I do think the weather contributes.

Mark must have been very organized! How wonderful you found the things you needed and, yes, he would be proud of you.

Anonymous said...

Gardening is good for the mind and hands as it keeps both busy puttering and pondering.

Take care, Lorraine.

Jeri Landers said...

Having never suffered a loss such as you have, it is hard to imagine. I hope that I would TRY to keep my hands busy, my thinking positive and my body healthy... just as you are doing. The fact that you ARE doing just that, is so wonderful. Some would simply sink into the depths of despair, but you will not allow that. You have great strength, it is very heartening to witness. (I am glad Bushky has come to visit you.)

Val said...

I so wish we lived closer and could share a taco night. :)

I love the heart-patch idea. Your quilt will be one of your biggest treasures.

And yes about seeing couples everywhere. It always seems like that after a loss. And the sad-songs-suddenly-coming-onto-the-radio all the time. :/ My mom and I used to joke (in a "This-isn't-funny-at-ALL!" kind of way, mind you) after my best friend died that EVERY SINGLE TIME we'd get into the car to go out or enter a store together or whatever, a sad song that seemed like it had been written just for our loss was playing. Blechh. Things like that are small but so hard.

Good for you with all the bill-paying and household tasks. I'm sure Mark is proud of you. I am too.