Monday, May 26, 2014

Relaxing day

I hope you all here in the states had a nice long Memorial day weekend. A time to reflect on those who have served our country, and especially those who gave their lives for the freedoms we enjoy still in this country.

Yesterday I decided to work in the ‘cat-rium’ off the back of my cottage. We called it the ‘cat-rium’ because that is where Miss Tork would hang out, before she became an indoor girl. The jacuzzi was empty, needed leaves cleaned out and a good rinsing before filling up.  I re-arranged iron furniture, brought in more plants. I sat in the swing back there while the tub was filling and it just felt so good to be doing nothing.

My life has been more or less stressed/hectic since my dear husband had that night of horrible cramping of muscles in his neck August 2012, then 4 months of caring for him as his health went downhill until he left this planet for his heavenly home 9 Dec. 2012. I continued working at my job, took care of paperwork that needed taking care of and muddled through grieving my loss of my best friend, the love of my life.

God has been my strength getting me through each and every day, without Him, I would be a total basket case. I’ve spent way too many hours attached to my computer, trying to fill the void that is now part of my life. I’ve stressed over getting unfinished projects finished, wanting everything done ‘now’. The first year was lived pretty much in a fog, and I still have foggy days, but I am starting to relax more. Whether or not things get done in a hurry, is not a priority. Yes, I would like things ‘done’, but in the whole scheme of things they aren’t all that important. I will do what I can when I can, if I can.

Loving God and others is what’s important. He knows all of my needs, He loves me dearly and my trust in Him is for Him to work all things out.

Today it felt good to just do nothing that needed to be done, just relax and putter. All the rest can wait until tomorrow and days ahead. After lunch I took a nap, then got up and it was time to enjoy the jacuzzi.  There is no hot water hooked up to it, as it is heated by the sun.  Although, with the screening overhead, it is not as hot as it used to be.  When I got in this afternoon the water was 82 degrees. I just sat on the side and dangled my legs in until they got used to it, then went down on knees and it was waist high gasping, then slowly let myself down and got used to the cool water.  The jets circulating the water felt so good and I probably spent 20-30 minutes enjoying hydrotherapy.

My dear husband created this room from curbside materials, aluminum, wood, screening. We got the jacuzzi for $100 at the GoodWill many, many years ago. Bought a refurbished pump for around $150, bought a filter. This whole space was a labor of love. I miss my husband every single day. I am thankful for our 43 years together, proud of him for doing his 4 year hitch in the US Navy near the end of the Vietnam war. He was my boyfriend, my love, my knight in blue jeans. My love for him continues to grow and one day we will be reunited.

It being Memorial day and thinking of the sacrifices made my so many, made me think of God,  and how out of His great love and mercy, He gave the ultimate sacrifice for the whole world. He came down as a babe, grew into manhood, and gave His life so that we would all be ‘free’ and have life eternal. He just asks us to believe in Him. Faith is a gift, just call on Him and He will hear you. Life won’t be perfect, but He is our strength when we are weak, and He fills us with His peace and love.

May you all have a great week.  Stop to smell the roses and other wonderfully scented blooms.  Feel the gentle breezes, hear the birds singing, take in all the beauty that surrounds you. Be kind, let others know you care. Be forgiving and encourage others.  Every day is a gift, let us be thankful for each and every one.




Deb said...

That Jacuzzi looks so relaxing. Sounds like you have had a very nice Memorial Day. This post is a wonderful tribute to you husband. I know you will see him again one day. God bless you.

Balisha said...

What a relaxing spot you have there. I imagine it is so refreshing on those hot Florida days.
Thinking about what you said about Faith...I feel the same way. I couldn't get along without the Lord to talk to in my prayers and meditation. When I find myself a little overwhelmed, all I have to do is think about someone worse off than me....and then pray for them.
Have a nice evening,

Jean Campbell said...

Your thoughts on Memorial Day are a pleasure to read, Rainey. Your C-atrium is delightful. If you didn't tell, no one would be the wiser that such beautiful spaces are made on a literal shoestring, upcycling at its finest.

I'm glad you found some time to rest and reflect.

Betsy Adams said...

Hi There, I had no idea you had a jacuzzi... How special is that--especially on a hot day in FL.... Your hubby was truly a Jack-of-all-trades. You are so fortunate to have shared your life with him for so many years... Glad you are doing so well. He'd be SO proud of you--and he is!

Happy Memorial Day. Let's never forget those who did and are doing so much for our freedoms. God Bless them ALL and God Bless America.

Julie said...

What a beautiful oasis!!! You are such an inspiration to many! God bless!!!!! Glad you had some calm, relaxing time today!

Corner Gardener Sue said...

Hi Lorraine,
I enjoyed your lovely tribute to your husband and other veterans. I also enjoyed reading about you relaxing today, and getting into the jacuzzi.

And, yes, it is faith that makes us right with God. I'm so thankful my salvation does not depend on anything I do or don't do!

lil red hen said...

This was a beautiful post with many comforting words. Thank you! Should I be left alone someday, I hope to be as courageous as you have been.

Gary said...

I'm so glad that you are finding some peace in your heart now Lorraine. Tasks that need doing around the house are always there, and the list will never stop, and just as you have done, we all need to just control it ourselves and enjoy what is around us instead on occasion. Even though it's a little cold, I bet that jacuzzi is nice when the really hot weather hits you. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written post, FlowerLady.

I love your jacuzzi room . . . it looks very much like a zen area.

Have a wonderful week (hopefully we'll get a little rain).



Sallysmom said...

Those last 2 paragraphs are such a testimony. It was so uplifting. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Jane Jazz said...

Such a beautiful post, Lorraine. It has left me with tears in my eyes and goosebumps on my arms. I'm so sad you had to lose the love of your life, your "knight in blue jeans", but as you say, you will one day be reunited... and I don't suppose he is ever very far away from you xx

gld said...

It sounds like you are heading to a more peaceful place. You dear husband would be so glad for you.

We all need more of those "do nothing" days. We had a morning like that recently just enjoying our coffee and the soundless country noises.

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

This whole post speaks of a deep peace and contentment. That is where I believe God would have us be. I know the feeling of trying so hard to do everything,but I too, have come to realize that it doesn't all need to be done now and some of it maybe not at all.

Maryann said...

Thank you for always being willing to share your heart, it helps encourage others. He is our strength when we are weak. Blessings to you

Yesteryear Embroideries said...

I hope this room brings you comfort and relaxation as you think on loving thoughts of your husband. Hang in there and take good care of yourself.

Eggs In My Pocket said...

I hope you can find peace and relaxation in this beautiful space.

Terra said...

I like your jacuzzi story, of how you got it, your hubby set it up and then you used it. Nice it warms up via the sun. I agree with you that you will be reunited with your husband in the sweet by and by, we will meet on that beautiful shore.


What a beautiful post, Lorraine. I love the setting for your Jacuzzi and how you remembered not just the love of your life, but all veterans and the Lord Jesus Christ. Your gratitude is infectious. We have so much to be thankful for. Hugs.

Sandy said...

I am glad you have a nice jacuzzi and I enjoyed hearing how it came to be. I am also glad you had a peaceful time and once again I "hear" more and more strength and peace from your words.

Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

That is a great space for getting everything so inexpensively. Wow. Be well!

Consider It All Joy said...

Thank you for sharing this bit of your love story! It is always a joy to share bits and pieces of my life with Mark, it helps my healing process, don't you think! Enjoy using your jacuzzi this summer! Blessings, Cindy

Terry Mann said...

Lovely thoughts.
You're right, we all need to just be once in a while.

Flower Freak said...

What a beautiful space your dear husband created for you! I'm glad to hear that you're taking some "you"'s so important. God Bless, Sally

Jeri Landers said...

This brought me to tears... really. I don't think anyone could understand the loss unless they had been through it. I have not. But I am glad for you that the fog is lifting, albeit slowly. I am glad you live with his memories surrounding you and within you. It is a great love story, and it is not over.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Love your words
and no way could this one
make it through her life
without Faith and Prayers.

Lona said...

It is amazing how we start prioritizing things after a loss or as we get older. (and I am LOL!) The things that I rushed to do when younger and everything had to be so so now are not that important in the scheme of things. Like you I do things as I feel the energy to do them. Taking time to enjoy those things that I created. Take time to smell the roses as you stated.
Your jacuzzi looks so inviting and refreshing. A good place to relax and enjoy the wonders of God all around you. Be blessed and have a lovely week.

Karen @ Pieces of Contentment said...

Your jacuzzi room looks like a wonderfully relaxing place Lorraine, especially as the summer months come along.

Your words are so true, loving God and others and being gracious to ourselves along the journey. Each day is a blessing, especialle as some are harder than others.

tina said...

Just relaxing? Wow, that is such a nice concept and so glad you were able to do so and think of your dear husband.

Sandra said...

Thank you so much for your advice on our jacuzzi. I want to get up and running as soon as possible, but hubby and I have no idea how to LOL

Glad you had a relaxing day, you definitely deserve it.

Much love and hugs,

Dorothy Adamek said...

Such beautiful words. I hope you're enjoying the rest-time and your sweet home. We're heading into winter, so I envy your spring sights and smells. God bless. xx

Rebecca said...

I'm glad you took the time to "relax and putter". Also that you have taken "too much" time blogging. I think as you look back you can see all you've accomplished in spite of being in your "fog"...

How beautiful that jacuzzi room, Lorraine. It looks SO inviting.

Our recoveries from surgeries seem slow. I itch to work in the flower beds, but even when I take it slowly, I end up hurting. Patience is NOT my strong suit :)!

M.K. said...

Your jacuzzi room is so peaceful, and your time there must be restorative, just looking overhead at the sky and around at your beautiful plants. Plants are so still, and they receive the gifts God gives in such a passive way. We should be more like them.

Your attitude since losing your dear friend and husband is remarkable. You're honest about the grief and pain, but are trying with God's help to see the sunshine in life again too. May He give you peace and above all -- hope!

The BUTT'RY and BOOK'RY said...

Hi Lorraine,
This was a sweet sweet post about your dear Husband whose memory is so near and constant. Thank the Lord that we have security in Him and shall be eternally reunited in that place He has prepared. My brother lost his wife of 43 years barely over year ago and he is surely a fish out of water still, like he lost a foot and hand.
It doesn't feel like a year 1/2, more like weeks so many years of being constant and now she is dancing joyously in Heaven while we miss her here! (We were Lucy and Ethel together she was my Ethel)
I love your yard and all your words.
I'm glad I found your bloggings and shall visit often.
Thank you for coming over! (and sorry it took me so long to come back here)
Many BLESSINGS to you and warm hugs too, Linnie

Rose ~ from Oz said...

When we lose our 'other halves' we do feel a lot of stress and pressure to do it all and sometimes it involves extra financial strain as well.
There are many reasons to count our blessings, and it is a joy to look around and smell the roses so to speak and rejoice in the Lord and each new day.
But it's also OK that you are obviously really really missing your DH acutely at the minute.
I am not UNhappy but still, I sometimes struggle to fill that void.
Much love to you Lorraine
(I'm still catching up on posts since I've been away)

Kit said...

What a lovely post! Glad you are doing okay. Kit

Thistle Cove Farm said...

43 years.
I am envious.