Friday, July 19, 2013

Hugs are priceless


Good morning everyone ~ I hope your day today is a good one, and that your weekend is nice too. Our rain is becoming less and that’s a good thing.  I need to wash and hang out laundry and mow, weed, trim, blah, blah, blah.

I’ve mentioned our ‘back 40’ a few times, and in reality it’s maybe an area of 20 feet by 30 feet if that.  But, there is ‘stuff’ back there and the stuff has become covered. This fall/winter I will be working on, with help from others (I hope), clearing the ‘junk yard/back 40’ of the junk.  It was one of the things my husband said to me in his last months here, “when I die, get rid of the junk”. We had started working on it, but weren’t allowed to finish the project together. A lot of what I need to clear out, will go to the scrap yard for $$.

Speaking from experience, when you become a widow, so many things seem overwhelming. I’ve handled a lot around here with and without the help of my dear husband, but now that he’s gone, I realize just how much we did together and depended on each other for help with various projects. This is a whole new way of living, and most definitely takes some getting used to.  I am learning to just take each day as it comes, learning to go with the flow, learning to trust God more. Things I didn’t have to pay for before, I will have to pay for now. That right there is something to trust God for, meeting all of my needs.

I look forward to taking care of this place, having it easier to take care of with all the ‘junk’ gone.  Mind you, I’ll be keeping some of the junk as there is some that is garden or art worthy.  I just need to relax more, finding my groove and flow into it each day.  I am thankful to have this place, a place filled with love, joy and so many projects worked on together.

Yesterday at work, I was taking care of a really nice customer and as we were talking I mentioned my husband having passed away in December. She gasped and said she was so sorry, then she asked “Can I give you a hug?”  I said, “yes”. She gave me a good one and just held me and I thanked her. Her husband just had open heart surgery 3 weeks ago and we both were teary. I told her my husband was now with God and she said “he is there waiting for you” and I agreed and told her how he told me he’d be waiting on the rainbow bridge for me.

What I want to say is this, ladies, hug your widow friends. They don’t have a disease, widowhood is not catching. Hugs and gentle touches are something we greatly miss. I can’t even express in words what they do for a soul with a broken heart, who has lost their love, their best friend. Hugs are priceless, they are healing.  I want to thank you all for your cyber hugs, as they too mean a lot to ‘FlowerLady’ who misses her DH so dang much. The widows group once a month has been a great source of hugs for all of us widows who attend.

I hope I don’t drive any of my followers away because I bring up my loss so often, but it’s a part of me now. It’s part of my every day life.  I have the photo of DH waving to me sitting here on my desk in my creative space, and have another one on the desk in the bedroom.  He is very much alive, just not on this plane. That photo gives me hope and encourages me to keep on.  God is my continuing strength.

So, with that I will close this post.

Love and hugs from me to all of you ~ FlowerLady



Stitchy Mc Floss said...

Lovely post. :)

I think you should write about what ever is on your heart, it's your blog.

Death is not an ending, it's merely a bookmark in the book of life.

Almost everyone has lost someone they loved, and it's because of that connection that we can relate to your great loss. We can never know how you feel, one persons feelings are so different than another persons, but can understand the empty and loneliness that is there.

I think it is so awesome that you are part of a group of ladies that care about each other and are working through such a difficult and heart breaking time.

I send you ((hugs)) and wishing you a day filled with many blessings. :)

lil red hen said...

Never fear of driving us away, after all, we could face the same fears and being alone ourselves. I love reading about how you stay busy and get so much accomplished. My farmer has a BIG junk pile and I'm always begging him to clean at least part of it up and take it to the salvage yard for $$.

You inspire us all!

It's Just Dottie said...

I experience the same things as you . Right now life is feeling a bit overwhelming because of a broken pool filter and washing machine. I know they will be fixed and everything will be ok, but I am still sad he is not here to help me.God is good and I know He loves me. I think at this moment I need a hug!!

Balisha said...

Hi Lorraine,
I experienced the loss of my 1st husband years ago...and now have lost a son. I find that people shy away from conversations that "might make me sad" What makes me sad is the thought that they might not care.I've never known someone to turn away from a hug or kind comment.We all need the human touch.
Sending a hug your way...((Balisha))

Rebecca said...

Thanks for the reminder to "hug a widow"...(I think I've told you I have several widowed friends and a couple who are divorced.)

We ought to have a contest to see who cleans out the "back 40" first. I have some junk, too!

Cyber hugs sent your way, Lorraine ()

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

Keep on sharing about your husband and the life you shared.I love that. Yes,hugs are wonderful. I found that out anew last weekend.

Nancy J said...

Please keep writing, after all, our blogs tell everyone our days, with joy, sadness, heat, snow, family times and more, and for me, I am always so happy to see your name come up on my sidebar. Junk, my Hugh despairs of what I have kept, saved or hoarded!!! Maybe a lesson for me in your words of the " back 40". Take care in that heat, nothing outside in the middle of the day, keep cool water and ice-blocks handy at all times. Fondest greetings and...BIG hugs, from Jean.

Mrs. E said...

Love your posts. We will all be there someday--or our spouse will be in your position. You are teaching all of us--great advice!

Rose ~ from Oz said...

Having gotten to know you fairly well dear Lorraine, I would worry if you stopped or lessened your mentions of DH.
Oh my, indeed how healing hugs can be, and how I understand that hugs and touch, are part of the whole of which we miss so much.
Each time I respond to you there is a cyber-hug attached, even if unsaid.
Much love

Linda said...

A wonderful post. Hugs are so therapeutic...and as for myself, I find my blog very therapeutic as well. It enables me to share things with others, both my feelings as well as things I enjoy, and it enables me to have the great opportunity of meeting some really nice people that I might not otherwise have had the chance to meet.

Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

I enjoy your little chats about life at your place and your memories of your husband. It's nice to 'check in' and see how you are doing. You are really figuring out a lot on your own. Glad you have found closer friends to give you those needed hugs.

Darcie said...

You will never drive me away! We will always be here for you. I like what Mrs. E said, that we learn and grow, ourselves when we watch others walk through different experiences that we ourselves will some day go through.

As for hugs...I am a hugger, and sometimes it's hard for me to understand others that aren't. There was a lady I know from TX, and when she hugged was real. You literally felt the love in her hugs. Taught we not to be superficial when I hug too. Here is one for you my friend. ((((hugs))))

Terra said...

That is the bestest bird bath ever, with the loving bird couple. You could never drive me away, you write whatever you need to, and I will listen. I would give you a hug in person gladly.

Lynn said...

Ah, Lorraine, consider yourself hugged. I strongly believe in the power of touch. Can’t wait to see what you do with your reclaimed junk.

Tatyana@MySecretGarden said...

I am here with my hugs for you too, dear Lorraine! I also want to say that each of your kind, thoughtful comments on my blog is like your hug for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!