Saturday, December 9, 2017

To be absent…

from the body, (death) is to be present with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:8)

I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that when the medical team said my dear husband had died, that he was with Jesus, our awesome God and Creator. Knowing that has given me much peace these last 5 years. Today is the 5th anniversary of his home going.

I still miss him terribly, every single day, but my grieving has lessened and that is a good thing. Grieving is something we ‘grow’ through, it is different for each of us. Jesus has been and is my strength each and every day.

Sometimes it seems like my dear husband just left yesterday and at other times it seems like forever ago. I feel his love here at Plum Cottage as I am surrounded by so much that reminds me of him. All of the projects we worked on inside and out, the gifts, music, flowers growing in my gardens, momentos of our life together. I am thankful for the 43 years we had together, living, laughing, loving, encouraging, forgiving each other..

Below are some ornaments hanging on my main, small tree. Symbols of love for each other and from others.

The one below was given to me by a dear widow friend. Someone had given one to her when she lost her husband, and she found one to give to me.


Soon after my DH left this planet, I heard this song while driving down the road one day, and I felt and still feel that it was meant for me right then. I just couldn’t believe it and drove with tears streaming down my face. Songs come and go on the radio, and this song is no longer played. I heard it at the time in my life that I ‘needed’ to hear it.

‘Even If’
by Kutless

Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are

Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come

Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are

You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise

You are God and we will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and we will bless You
Even if the healing doesn’t come
Even if the healing doesn’t come

(Italics mine)


I did the embroidery/beadwork on this piece below before my DH left this planet. After he was gone, I cut the white fabric into a heart shape and mounted it to a heart shape cut from a pair of his old blue jeans. The heart on the right represents him the one on the left me. Two hearts bound and interlocked together with love.


These two ornaments below were the last ones given to us by his mom before she passed away 25 years ago. She gave us kids a new ornament every year. Meet Mr. & Mrs. Lion.

12-08-mr-lion      12-08-mrs-lion

This is a little porcelain ornament that Mom also made. She is such a sweet delicate piece. She’s about 3”- 4” tall.


She also made this little egg ornament one year, from a little blue Robin’s egg I think.


This I picked up somewhere. As you will no doubt notice there is a heart theme going on. I am a romantic, love hearts and flowers, still watch Hallmark movies, even though they make me cry. They also make me clap my hands for joy, because love prevails and there is nothing better than that.


I made this many yeras ago, and it is stuffed with dried lavender.


I also made this red crocheted heart.


DH gave me this hand painted, blown out egg one year, on the other side is a rooster.


This little snow people couple was made by a friend in Country Life forum many years ago.


This little crocheted stocking was made by another friend from that same forum. We had 3-4 ornie swaps over the years I was there which was a lot of fun and we all have sweet ornaments from those swaps, all handmade.


This was made by a blogging friend for me that first Christmas without DH.


I will end this post with the quirky watercolor I painted of us. The twinkle in our eyes and smiles on our faces are only a glimpse of what we will be like forever in the company of our Savior and all who believe in Him.

Joy unspeakable and full of glory.




Nancy J said...

You are in my heart on the anniversary, down here we are already the 10th, but early morning at 5 a.m. Love to you as you remember, give thanks, and know that you are surrounded by love.

Connie in Hartwood said...

Your painting shows a couple who were very much meant for each other!!

Debbie - Mountain Mama said...

Sending you love and prayers on this anniversary of your dear husband’s passing, Lorraine. Your handmade ornaments are wonderful - I love the one you made using his blue jeans. You are so talented!

Val said...

Love to you, Lorraine. You still have your ornament(s)! ♥ How sweet they all are. You'll be in my thoughts today. ♥

Rebecca said...

Such beautiful ornaments - all of them so rich in meaning & significance...
Praying for you this day, 'specially.
May you experience unique and very personal comfort and reassurance as well as many, many loving memories to balance or surpass any tears you may shed. ♥

lil red hen said...

May God's love surround you at this time. Charlotte

Terra said...

I love the painting by you showing the sparkle in your eyes and the love is apparent. Your heart ornaments are darling. For me, it is one year of widowhood, and I feel worn out at times, even though there is a lot of good happening in my life. I send you hugs today dear Rainey.

Dewena said...

Lorraine, this was a beautiful post, thank you for sharing it with us. I've never heard the song before but the words are so meaningful at my age when I'm seeing so many loved ones facing health problems.

God bless you today on this anniversary of your dear husband's homegoing. I'm glad there are so many things that remind you of him and that they comfort you.

Love to you,

Susie said...

Sending you hugs. I know what you are saying about your husband's passing maybe seeming not so long ago sometimes and forever ago at others. I feel that way about the loved ones I have lost. The sharp pain will ease, the longing never does. Blessings to you, xoxo, Susie

September Violets said...

This was such a heartfelt post Lorraine. I love all the ornaments you have kept over so many years. It's wonderful to revisit all the friendships we have made through these little tokens. You obviously have had a wonderful life with your dear husband, and your love still shines for him. Hugs to you on this anniversary.
Wendy xox

Ruth Hiebert said...

These anniversary days are filled with so many memories. Some memories bring a smile and others a tear or two.Both are needed and both are good.

Carol- Beads and Birds said...

The holidays always bring back memories, usually the happy ones. You have such lovely mementos of them. See, you are smiling.
Much Love,

Terry said...

Hi Lorraine,

Such a beautiful post. I wish I could sit with you and have a cup of tea and just listen to your beautiful love story. Would you consider telling us more of your love story? How did you meet? You both must have been very young. I would love to hear more.

I am reading Hinds' Feet On High Places. Thank you for your review of it! I am retiring in June from 29 years of teaching. I feel guided by God that this is the right time, yet like Much-Afraid, I have fears. This is the perfect book for me right now. Thank You! God is awesome!

With love,

Kit said...

Such a lovely post! You have such lovely memories and I love your ornaments. Especially the heart made from his jeans. Perfect. Love, KK

Janneke said...

It was again a joy to read this post. I also miss my husband every minute, every hour, every day....but we have one consolation we have lots of lovely memories. And then the beautiful ornaments, they are all of them little treasures which will comfort you in these days.
Regards from a cold and wet Holland,

Melanie said...

Sending you lots of love and a big hug...anniversary dates are so hard. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us and all the special ornaments.

Cheryl said...

It was encouraging to read your words today and see the tenderness between you and your husband as well as the faithfulness of God towards you! Praying that your memories surround you with comfort!

Deborah Montgomery said...

Blessings to you and love on the anniversary of your husband's passing. Thankful that you have such precious memories and the sure hope of seeing him again. The ornaments are special, and also reminders of the love in our lives. xo Deborah

Deborah Montgomery said...

oh, and ps -- I love the watercolor of you two. <3 Deborah

Peter/Outlaw said...

Thinking of you fondly always and especilly at this time. Your ornaments are all so special and make your tree very special.
Precious memories, unseen angels,
Sent from somewhere to my soul.
How they linger, ever near me,
And the sacred past unfolds.

Darcie said...

Dear me...5 the time just seems to pass us by, even though I'm sure days stood still for you at times during the pass 5 years. I will say it once've been such an example of grace in your grieving...always real with what you were facing, but always with such grace. I'm so glad our paths crossed in blogland, my friend!

M.K. said...

I enjoyed seeing all your ornaments so much, but the BEST thing was the painting you did at the end -- I love the smile on your face! God gives us marriage because he knows it will bring such joy, that it CAN bring joy. If we understand that our separation is temporary, and there is eternity, hopefully we can soldier through the separation. I know it is a hard day for you, dear friend. Praying comfort and strength.

Thistle Cove Farm said...

Rainey, you are thought of and held in prayer you'll weather the Holy Days to come safe in the security of knowing Christ awaits us. Daddy always says, "I'm ready to go but I'm not homesick" and I feel the same. But the missing is great, that I do know.
Merry Christmas Beloved Sister in Christ.