Sunday, November 27, 2016

To be absent…


Good morning Folks ~ I hope all of you who celebrated Thanksgiving this past week had a wonderful time and made some lovely memories.

I had dinner out with my dear husband’s brother and his wife.  They are very dear to me and we had a nice visit and a delicious dinner. They are in the process of selling their home, it goes on the market today, and we ‘hope and pray’ it sells soon. They will be moving closer to B-I-L’s work and to me. That will be nicer for all of us.

In the midst of Thanksgiving, it has been a sorrowful time for me and others in my family. My two sisters and I lost our mother this past Tuesday night around midnight, just a week after my birth father left this life. But as a believer in Jesus/God, we have peace in knowing they are with Him. The Bible says that ‘to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord’. No better place to be. It’s just rough on those left behind, with missing our loved ones.

After my dear BIL and SIL left me here in my little cottage and headed for their home, I started feeling depressed and missing my dear husband something awful. Holidays are sometimes hard to get through. Friday after I went out and did a bit of grocery shopping, early, I was feeling so down and tired that I crawled back into bed. The tears came and I just let them flow, then slept for about 1 1/2 hours. It was good healing therapy. I’ve not done much of anything for the past couple of days, did some hand watering of potted plants, cleaned out ‘science projects’ from the fridge and washed containers, and watched ‘Hallmark’ Christmas movies.

Today is a new day and I want to be thankful and happy in it. This widowhood journey has it’s ups and downs. Some of you have written that I am strong, well let me tell you that my strength comes from God, somedays it is all I can do to put one foot in front of the other, I have no energy, I have no ambition, I want to crawl into a hole. Somedays I feel really positive and good. No matter which way I am feeling, He is with me every step of the way and bottles all of my tears. I am oh so thankful for His love, strength, peace and joy. He is the ‘Light’ in my darkest times. He gives me flowers, breezes, butterflies, birdsong, family & friendships to enjoy each and every day.

I thank you all for your words of encouragement, your prayers, your love, they are priceless to me.

I have a wonderful flowering vine that blooms a few times in a year and it has been in bloom the past week or so and it has blessed my heart. The vine is called ‘Garlic Vine’ because of the scent coming from the leaves. The flowers, to me, do not have a scent.

Here are some photos. The older the flowers are, the paler they become until they are almost white with a hint of color left. I want this to eventually cover the shed’s roof.









Here are a couple of other blooms giving me joy right now, bougainvillea and shrimp plant.




Vanda orchids


A miniature rose called ‘Picnic’.



This beautiful rose, in scent and color, is either ‘Don Juan’ or ‘Mr. Lincoln’.


Well, that’s it from ‘Plum Cottage for now. No matter what your circumstances, if you are feeling ‘down and out’ call on God. He is waiting for you to call on Him, He desires to be your friend as well as Saviour.  He loves you deeply. When things are going great, thank Him.

Love, hugs and many thanks to all of you from ~ FlowerLady


Sallysmom said...

I just wrote a comment and somehow it disappeared. Maybe it is visible to you. Anyway, thank you for your words of encouragement even as you go through your own personal stress and sadness.

Jane said...

So sorry, dear Rainey. Such a name for such a pretty vine. It looks a lot like a wisteria. Hope this week goes smoother for you.


Carol- Beads and Birds said...

Good Morning
I hope that I never experience the pain you are feeling for the loss of your husband. One of the thoughts I came away with from this post is that your flowers and flowering vines surround you with the of your Lord. You faith is rewarded with the continuing beauty and joy your flowers give to you. What a wonderful thing to be grateful for.
xx, Carol

SimplySingleSenior said...

So sorry to hear about your mom's passing - especially so closely to your birth father's. You are in my prayers during this awfully difficult time. Very glad to hear that your BIL and SIL will be moving closer -- you are so fortunate to have their support. Sometimes all we can do is pull the covers over our head and trust God to work His healing on our shattered hearts.

organicgardendreams said...

Dear Lorraine, I certainly can imagine that you miss your husband very much especially during the holidays. I hope that the next days will be easier for you and that there will be more emotional "ups" than "downs".
As always I love your flowers! The "garlic vine" has such a beautiful lavender color and the flower shape is so pretty. It looks great on your shed. I also really like the white bougainvillea.
Until next time, all the best!

Melanie said...

Good Sunday morning, Rainey. I am so, so sorry to hear about the passing of your beloved mother. The holidays are so hard as it is (when you've lost your husband or child), and then you have to deal with another heart goes out to you. Grief is a journey...there will always be waves of sadness, but then good memories, too. When you have those waves of overwhelming sadness, just give in to you said, just crawl into bed and cry. Do what you have to do. Not good to fight the feelings that come. You are so lucky that you live in an area where there are flowers and blooms all the time. Here in northern IL, the landscape is now totally barren. Everything is brown and gray. The one thing I like about Christmas is that all the lights at least make the depressing landscape - and indoors - pretty and bright. Hugs and prayers to you.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you yet have another family death. Yes you have the faith that your parents are in heaven but of course you are sad. Your flowers are so pretty and it is nice you have that beauty to give you consolation while you are still on this earthy pilgrimage! Andrea

Anonymous said...

Sorry...and of course your beloved husband! Andrea

Beatrice Euphemie said...

Oh, my dear Lorraine, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and at this most saddest of holidays for those who are alone. You are surely being watched over by some Angels now, as I truly believe that those who leave us behind continue to guide us and protect us as we move forward through life. You have certainly received your fair share of sadness and sorrow and my heart grieves with you at this difficult time. My parents have been gone nearly 5 years now, one before the other by a year, and there is not a day gone by that I don't miss them terribly. I did not have the best relationship with my dear Mother either, but we mended our fences over the years and grew to form a loving bond, although the wounds still haunt me still. They lived just down the road from me and I still can't bring myself to take that walk. I am so glad that you find comfort in your faith, and that your dear brother and sister in law are moving closer to you. Your beautiful flowers are surely being tended by your dear beloved to remind you of your bond and the enduring love you shared. Take good care of yourself and know that you are in my heart and prayers. Love and hugs, Karen

Rebecca said...

The vine - SO beautiful & complementary to your shed.....
I'm sorry for your tears but understand their healing value.
Joy comes in the morning!
Your testimony of God's faithfulness is SO encouraging.
Praying with you and your in-laws re. the sale of their home.
How wonderful if you all can be closer in actuality as you already are in heart.
It's been an unusual Thanksgiving holiday for us, but I'm SO aware that our Father is a Good One. Where WOULD I be w/o Him?!?

Ruth Hiebert said...

Lorraine, I do understand the feelings that you are experiencing.Holidays are rough, but as you say, God id faithful. We know that, but sometimes we just need a good cry and allow some of the pain to be washed away. Your flowers are so gorgeous.
Hugs to you my dear friend and widow sister.

L. D. said...

I am so sorry for your deep sad days. I know that God's plan doesn't always seem so great as we live our lives. I have memories of the ones that i have lost including of my first wife and it puzzles me how I can still suffer while I have been so happily remarried. I guess the emotions stay inside and don't ever get completely released. You flowers are truly God's gift to us as they share their fragrance and beautiful color. I wish you to have so many better days.

lil red hen said...

HUGS, as I think of you. Your faith is like a shining light for us.

Junkchiccottage said...

Sorry for your loss of your mom. This time of year is especially hard for those that lost loved ones. My heart breaks for you that you have those bad days. Just glad good days follow. Time never takes away the pain of loss and loneliness but it does seem to have a way of making those bad days stay further away. I hope and pray that you have more of the better days as we approach the holidays.

Karen said...

Rainey, I am so sorry to hear of your losses; my deepest sympathy. I am happy your in-laws will be closer to you, that is good. I am going through some very uncertain times right now and your last quotes were very powerful for me as I face what comes, good or bad. I hurt for you when you are so very sad, but I know the tears do help to cleanse the soul. Your vine is so beautiful; I can't help but think they entice you to look up and feel the love.

Vee said...

It is always sad to say goodbyes no matter when, but during holiday seasons it seems especially rough. My condolences on the loss of your mother. Our boats may rock from time to time, yet how wonderful that The Lord is in the boat. We can face anything with Him. Praying joy for your journey and for my own, too. And blessings!

Cheryl said...

I am so sorry to hear of another loss. A loss is never easy, no matter the age, no matter the's just hard. I pray that the Lord is with you in your grief, one week, one day, one moment at a time.

A Joyful Cottage said...

As always, Lorraine, your flowers are stunning. I love how the Garlic Vine is twining around your shed. So enchanting. I'm so sorry about the passing of your mother and father. You are so right, though, about the hope we have in Jesus, and how He soothes and comforts our grieving hearts. I'm glad you crawled into bed and gave into the tears and rested. I fully believe God gave us the ability to cry as a release. I know even now that it's been 9 years since my husband passed and I've been remarried for six years, I still have days when the grief of losing my late husband comes at me like a giant wave and all I can do is just sit and have a good, cleansing cry. Afterward I blow my nose, wash my face, and carry on. Love and hugs, Nancy

Kim said...

SO so sorry to hear about your mom. Loss is hard at anytime, but around the holidays it can feel absolutely unbearable. I am sure it just compounds the feeling you have about missing your husband. I wish you moments of peach this holiday season...

Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

So sorry you've had so much loss lately. (Hug) Just do what you need to take care of you.

Deb @ Frugal Little Bungalow said...

Oh Lorraine I am so sorry in regards to how hard it is around the holidays :( So many memories, and so much loss and sorrow, yet still trying to enjoy what you can.

That vine is just beautiful! :) So are the other blooms.

On my blog I'd mentioned a green bean recipe that I was going to try and you wondered about it. I think that I found what the neighbors did here :

Buttons Thoughts said...

Holiday are always so difficult Lorraine. Sending hugs. Your garden is absolutely beautiful. HUG B

Jessica Jarrell said...

I'm so sorry about your mother. Losing her so soon after your birth father and around Thanksgiving must be so difficult. I have a hard time around the holidays as well and I can't imagine heaping extra loss on top of that. My condolences again, FlowerLady. You are in my thoughts. xoxo

Deborah Montgomery said...

You have been in my prayers. What a difficult time for you, with both your birth father, now your mother, on top of the ever-present grief of your husband's home-going. And this time of year is especially hard. A nap, a good cry, a Hallmark movie . . . I'm glad you are doing what you can to take care of yourself. Being surrounded by your beautiful flowers must feel like a touch of grace. That vine is gorgeous! So glad to hear you are close to your brother and sister in law, and that you could spend Thanksgiving with them.
Know that your blog friends are lifting you up in prayer. May the Lord keep you in His care. Blessings, Deborah

Anonymous said...

Oh Rainey . . . so sorry to read about your loss. My sincere condolences. It's nice that you can take comfort in your faith and I hope you are enveloped in that comfort all the holiday season long.

Love and hugs,


Val said...

Love and prayers, Lorraine. I'm sorry for your losses, and I know it's so hard when they come so close together.

Leslie Kimel said...

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your mom, Lorraine. My heart is with you.

M.K. said...

It is amazing to me that widows do cope and keep going on, after losing someone so very dear and precious. I can't imagine. I love that you watched Hallmark movies :) :) :) I love those, and there's something easing to the heart, to enter into another story, something brief and emotional, for a couple of hours. If you cry along with it, it kind of cleanses the hurt just a little. Love you, friend.

Celestina Marie said...

Dear Lorraine, So sorry for the loss of your mother and so close to the loss of your father too. It's always hard and especially around the holidays.
Sounds like a nice Thanksgiving with your inlaws. How special to be with loved ones.
I keep you in my prayers and sending hugs your way. The flowers around your cottage are beautiful. Precious gifts of beauty
Blessings to you dear one. xo

BeachGypsy said...

Thank you for your sweet compliments, Lorraine! What is the candlestick cassia you mentioned? I am JUST LOVING ALL YOUR NEW PICTURES on this post.....some of our prettiest ever. What beautiful blooms, what a beautiful garden you have! It all looks so pretty. I'm glad you posted, I had been thinking of you during this sad time.

gld said...

What a stunning vine. I do think flowers have the power to lift our spirits.

I can't imagine a life of widowhood and yet we all know that is coming at some point. I had it brought home vividly last October 18. Max had his second heart attack. This time it was around noon, better than midnight of the first one. We were very lucky. The doctor put in three more stents but told me his heart muscle looked perfectly normal. Thank you God.

I am trying to catch up with my favorite blogs. MIL fell at our house last Friday and broke her ankle severely. We have been dealing with many errors at the hospital and finally spent the day yesterday talking with doctors, and staff and hospital personnel to get things in order. We finally succeeded and now are waiting for surgery next Tuesday.

MartiDIY said...

I am so sorry for your losses. That is a lot in such a short time. I pray that you will have peace and joy in the coming weeks to help heal the painful parts of the upcoming Christmas events too. You have an amazing resilience, but holidays can be tough.

Kit said...

So sorry to hear you lost your Mom and that you have been feeling low. It is a hard time of the year, but let the good Lord fill you with the good of the season. He will help you always. Love, Kit